AngelRose Page 5

  Jumping to where I was before, I saw I’d shocked her again. “No, Zoey, that’s not what I meant.”

  “You’re strong, you’re ice-cold, you’re fast. Are you a vampire?” She grinned like it was joke.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You know, like that quote from Twilight.”

  “Twi-what?” I was beginning to feel like an idiot. What was she talking about?

  She laughed. “Wow, now if someone asked you where you lived, and you explained, they'd probably believe you.”

  “Why?”

  Zoey launched into a full explanation of Twilight and why she had a love/hate relationship with it as I carried her back to the castle. It sounded like a weird idea to me. Vampires should burn in the sun, not sparkle. She agreed.

  “And no, I am not a vampire,” I grinned.

  A few days later, Zoey was healthy again, but she still couldn’t walk. I happily assisted her everywhere. She was so happy that I’d decided against reading her latest letter to Jake. The magic of AngelRose was working. She was forgetting.

  “Eli? Can we go to your stage room? I want to hear you play.” Zoey was eating her daily bowl of soup. I had her on a strict regimen of at least one bowl of soup of her choice a day to go along with her lunch. I doubted it did any good to heal her ankle, but it seemed like a good, doctorly thing to do. Zoey happily abided.

  “Of course,” I said, scooping her up.

  She blushed like she had every other time I’d picked her up. “I could try walking, you know.”

  “Not until your ankle is better,” I replied, walking down the hall.

  “Okay,”

  I entered my stage room and set Zoey down on a huge, comfy sofa I’d imagined. It was pink, her favorite color. It was so soft, she sank into it. She smiled. I sat down to play and, stretching my fingers, the music began to flow. I don’t think I’d ever played so easily. It was effortless. My fingers tiptoed across the keys as if they were made of water. Then I knew.

  Looking at Zoey made it effortless. Looking at Zoey made everything effortless. She was my world. AngelRose was just a place. Zoey was my home.

  She clapped. “Eli, that was wonderful!”

  “Thanks, Zoey,” I smiled. “Wanna learn how to paint?”

  “Yes!” She almost jumped up.

  I chuckled. “Easy, your ankle won’t heal if you start doing jumping jacks every time I suggest we do something.”

  “Yes, Doctor Eli,” She laughed as I held her. I grinned. Maybe if she stayed, things would get better.

  Once in the art studio, I fetched Zoey a chair and imagined a small easel for her. “What would you like to paint?” A few canisters of paint appeared on a table between us. When I made a paintbrush appear in her hand, she gasped softly in surprise. She giggled.

  “You, I want to paint you, Eli.” She replied.

  “All right, then,” I positioned myself beside her, guiding her hand that held the brush. She let me direct her with the outline until we got to my eyes.

  “I know your eyes. I’d know them anywhere.” She drew both my eyes as if it were second nature. Dipping her brush lightly into the purple paint, she put a pupil in each eye. “My painting of you is finished.”

  “Zoey, you’ve only got the outline.” I chuckled.

  She nodded. “I know. It’s in complete contrast to your paintings of me. You know everything about me. I’m an open book to you, a filled in painting. You’ve always been a mystery to me, Eli. I’ve written thousands of stories about you, but I’ve never been able to capture you. The only thing I know about you, the thing I love most about you, is your eyes.”

  “I never thought about it that way.” I said. “That’s so deep, Zoe.”

  She blushed. “I do love your eyes. They’re such a pretty color.”

  I smiled and hugged her by the shoulders. “They’re all yours.”

  “That’s good to know,”

  My heart grew cold the moment I opened the letter. She was torn between going home and staying here. She wanted to see her boyfriend, but from the way the letter was written it sounded almost as if she was thinking of breaking up with him.

  I didn't want to think anymore about the possibilities of what the letter meant. It was too confusing to withhold a sure, definite answer and I was too tired to tangle with it. Wishing a small porthole to appear, I stuck the letter through and plopped down roughly on my bed.

  See? It's just a matter of time. Are you at all prepared to let her go? Or are you going to trap her here like Elena?

  I sat upright in bed. "I did not trap her here! She wanted to stay!"

  Ah, the monster has a habit of making you forget. Or does it just make you forget reality and replace it with a fairytale called denial? Face it, you're exactly like a darker version of Peter Pan himself. You delude yourself into thinking the fair Wendy loves you so much, she'll never want to leave. You're just a very scared, frightened little boy in a realm of darkness that is actually a physical manifestation of your soul. Your father predicted everything you are!

  "No! You're wrong! She will want to stay and I would never want to hurt her!" Hot, burning tears leaked painfully from my eyes. The injury on my shoulder burned, throbbing in time with the sick, evil laughter of the voice inside my head.

  I was insane.

  Chapter 13

  Eli must've still been asleep. He hadn't come to get me yet, the overcast sky making impossible to tell what time it was, but I guessed it was past nine o’clock, an hour later than when Eli normally came to get me for breakfast. I was stuck in bed, my ankle contracting with pain. That surprised me. My ankle hadn't hurt ever since I fractured it two weeks ago. I'd just figured pain was non-existent in AngelRose so I hadn't thought anything of it. Sky pushed at my hand with her head, purring softly. I petted her silky fur, looking at my ankle.

  It was throbbing gently, more annoying than painful. Trying to walk didn't seem like too bad of an idea. Eli hadn't let me put any weight on it in two weeks. His caring was probably doing more harm than good. I remembered reading somewhere that not putting weight on an injury after letting it heal for a while made the muscle weak and wasn't a good thing.

  Now was a good time to test it out. I couldn't hear Eli so it was safe to say he was still fast asleep. Besides, all I wanted to do was put weight on it, not run a marathon, so he couldn't get mad at me for that, could he?

  Sky jumped off my lap, sitting to watch over me as if she could catch me if I fell. I chuckled at the thought. "You're such a thoughtful cat, aren't you, Sky?" I slid off the bed slowly. My bad ankle reached the floor and I stood up.

  It hurt a little, but I could walk. I'd have to take it easy, but Eli wouldn't have to carry me as much anymore. I smiled. I wouldn't be so much trouble for him now. That thought made me proud. I didn't want to be a burden to Eli. My eyes flickered to the door as it slowly opened.

  Eli appeared, looking as if he'd fought a war in his dreams. His hair was mussed up, dark bruised-looking shadows under both eyes. He looked as though he was ready to fall asleep on his feet at any moment. He reminded me of a little kid who had just woken up from a nap, harmless and in need of comforting.

  The sharpness of his words stole the little kid image from my mind. "What are you doing out of bed?"

  "Exercising," I replied, mentally kicking myself for sounding like a little kid who had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar before dinner.

  His voice was softer now, more gentle. "Does it hurt?"

  "A little, but I should be okay to start walking around now. I'll still have to take it easy, but walking would probably help it heal faster."

  He walked over to me, resting his chin on top of my head. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

  I sighed. "Are you okay? You look like you fought a tornado instead of sleeping."

  Eli chuckled. "You could say that,"

  I turned so I was facing his chest, hugging him to me. "Please talk to me." My voice was muffled by the fabric of his
jacket.

  "I can't,"

  "But if you can't talk to me then who can you talk to?" I was getting frustrated. I was the only one he could talk to and he was choosing not to.

  "Sky is a very good listener,"

  I stamped my good foot. "Fine, go and talk to her. I'll leave you two alone." I walked out, going to the living room. It was a giant room with red carpet, matching red couch and armchair, and a fireplace that was somehow always kept lit even though I had never seen Eli light it. I sat in the chair by the fire with a heavy blanket draped over me. I felt very cold. Eli not opening up to me hurt more than I thought. I thought we had something special. I loved him, but his secrets were beginning to take a toll on me. I wondered how much more I could take.

  "Zoey, are you awake? I'm sorry. Please believe me. Please don't be mad." Eli's silky voice awoke me from my slumber. I sat up and stretched, rubbing sleep from my eyes. I'd needed a nice, warm nap like that.

  I yawned. "I know you're sorry."

  "But do you forgive me?"

  "Of course, Eli. Of course I do,"

  He beamed, perfect white teeth showing, reminding me of the happy little boy he could have been had he not been born with a demon's soul. "That's good. I was afraid you were mad at me."

  I hugged him. "I could never stay mad at you for long, Eli." I am not Elena I thought silently.

  "I can't bear it when you're mad at me. It makes me mad at myself. I really am sorry. It's just...I can't tell you about some things."

  I nodded. "Everyone has secrets." I saw a flash of fear flicker through his eyes. "What's wrong?"

  "N-nothing, want some dinner?"

  "It's that late already?"

  Eli chuckled. "It's past dinner time. It's midnight. Boy, that must've been some nap."

  I smiled. "It was. I feel very rested." I got up and took a step before I realized my foot had fallen asleep and my already weak ankle buckled. I stumbled, putting my hand out to catch myself, but Eli was faster. He caught me easily.

  "Taking it easy, huh?"

  I grinned at him. "Shut up, Mr. Smart Guy."

  "Aww, how sweet. You think I'm smart." Eli carried me into the dining room. I cuddled against his chest, inhaling his scent. He was such a sweetheart when he wanted to be. He was a lot like Jake in a way despite the temper. I was struggling with the decision of asking Eli to leave. I had a life to get back to, tests to take, college to go to, parents, friends, people who would start to miss me.

  The longer I stayed here, the more real it seemed. But AngelRose was not real. It was all a dream. None of it, not even the night in the rose garden with Eli had been real. This wasn't real life. This was a game where people never got old. A boy had the power to imagine anything he wanted. Cats were smarter than average. A place where no one could die.

  Time stood still here. Eli never got older. The only reason he looked eighteen was because AngelRose had let Eli. AngelRose's will bowed to Eli. Eli was its master. And there was no way I could ever be his princess. It was just a game.

  I had to grow up. I had to go to college. I had to get a job, raise a family. I had to get old and then die. It was the natural order of things. If I stayed in AngelRose I could never have that. I could never have a family. I could never have a job. I'd stay here and paint with Eli for all of eternity. I'd be forever eighteen while my family and friends died wondering where I had gone, why I'd abandoned them. It wasn't right.

  I needed to go home.

  Chapter 14

  She was getting better. I was scared she would want to leave now, to go back to her life. After all, how could anyone call what I had a life anyway? At least Peter Pan had fun things to do, friends to play with. I had no one. All these Peter Pan references were true. Ol’ Peter and I had more in common than I thought. We both would never grow old. We were perfect for our choices of residence. We both had women that would never love us.

  We were living a fairytale, each tragic in its own way. Outsiders envied us, what we had, when they should pity us. We were misfits and, no matter how much someone wanted to be a part of our world, they would begin to miss something in theirs and eventually ask to leave. It was human nature. Zoey was only human.

  And, I, I didn’t know what I was.

  “What do I do?” I asked the walls of my bedroom. The voice answered.

  Why the turmoil? The answer is simple. Two choices: ask her to stay or let her leave. Or the taboo third option…

  “I will not trap her here! She has right to free will!”

  Calm down, Elijah. You don’t want your temper to get out of hand.

  “My name is not Elijah,” I mumbled as I silently agreed with the voice and calmed down. Getting angry wasn’t going to help. My mind was already crowded enough.

  You could try to leave, you know. You haven’t tried in a while. Maybe it’s worn off.

  I was so defeated, I didn’t answer aloud. No. It’s never let me leave and it never will.

  Wow. Are your thoughts good enough for me now?

  Shut up. I walked to the kitchen, scared that, in this castle of a thousand rooms, I was going to run into Zoey. My fears evaporated once I opened the kitchen door. Not a single blond hair in sight. I strode over to the table, sat down, imagined a bottle of Jack Daniels, and poured myself a shot. I was a young adult who owned a castle, had a cutting addiction, heard a voice in his head, and was cursed forever to an ancient realm. Being an alcoholic was really the least of my problems.

  Easy on the bottle there, kiddo. Get too drunk and who knows what you’ll do.

  Let me emphasize that again: Shut. Up. I’m sick of hearing you talk. This is my mind. Get out.

  I’m a part of you. Always have been, always will. The voice told me before it decided to shut up and let me drink in peace. I sighed. Eating breakfast was a lonely event. Both Sky and Zoey were noticeably absent. I drank the rest of the bottle just as Zoey entered.

  “What is that? I didn’t know you drank.” Her eyes were wide with fear.

  I set it down. “Just a little drink, Zoe,”

  “Are you sure you’re okay, Eli? You’re already…sort of…” She trailed off unable to find the right words.

  “Unstable?” I asked, an odd bark of a laugh bubbling from my lips. “Erratic? Impulsive?”

  “Kind of,” she said politely.

  I smiled. “I’m fine,” My brain was fuzzy and I felt really warm, but I really wasn’t lying. After all, being self-destructive was what I did best.

  “Okay,” Zoey backed away slowly. I waited for her to leave and then I blacked out.

  I woke up sometime later, the sun shining in my eyes. The sun? Since when did the sun shine in AngelRose without me knowing about it? I groaned, shielding my eyes from the glare. I was hung-over, my stomach rolling. This sunshine wasn’t going to last long.

  “Eli, what’s a matter? Come play with me,” Zoey laughed, beckoning me with a wave of her hand as she ran outside toward the rose garden. I followed her outside, gaping at the sight. Luscious green grass and white puff flowers were everywhere. That was impossible. Nothing outside of the rose garden grew except for patchy dark green grass that was usually dead.

  “I’m coming,” I said, stepping outside and instantly feeling the foreign sunshine warm my skin. A smile spread across my face. It actually was making me feel a little better.

  “Catch me, Eli! You slowpoke!” Zoey laughed, running further away from me. She was in a beautiful green t-shirt and jean shorts. I laughed and tried to catch up. Something was wrong. My legs felt like melting lead. Every step I took seemed to take more and more effort. Zoey looked back, stopping to face me, and her face fell like she was about to cry. “Eli, why won’t you catch me?”

  I tried to speak but my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. “Zoey, I…”

  “Why, Eli, why? Why did you abandon me?” A watery voice croaked out. Faster than I could blink, Zoey looked exactly like Elena. No, it was Elena! Her skin was wrinkly, gray, and water-logged. Water dripped fro
m her blue and white dress in streams. Her eyes were now two empty sockets. Her lips were purple. Her teeth were yellow with a few missing. Her short, mousy brown hair was tangled, heavy with water.

  “Why?” The voice was now changing, alternating between Zoey’s and Elena’s voice every few words, the body flashing to match the voice.

  “Why didn’t you-” Elena’s voice.

  “Catch me?” Zoey’s.

  “Save me?”

  “Help me?”

  “Stop me?”

  “Open up to me?”

  “Why did you lie to me?”

  “Burn me?”

  “Kill me?”

  “Why did you trap me here?” The voices were now a rasping mix of each other, half the body Elena’s, half Zoey. I stood there, unable to move, my gaze transfixed on their eyes, one green, one blue. Eyes of my two girlfriends, one dead, one living, both mad for what I did to them.

  I gulped. “I…I’m sorry. I never meant for this to happen!”

  “And that makes it okay?” they screeched, bounding toward me. They were on me in a few strides.

  I bolted awake, my heart nearly jumping out of my chest. I rested my shaking hands on my blankets. I must have been sleepwalking to my bed. I did that at times, yet it still surprised me whenever it happened.

  My whole body was cold and shaking. Cold sweat had formed on my forehead. I got up, my legs buckling. I crawled to my dresser and stood up slowly, expecting to see the monster, long black hair and long grinning teeth, staring back at me in the mirror. I was relieved to see my own familiar face. I was still me. Still Eli.

  It’s much too early for you, Elijah. You should be asleep. A growing boy needs his rest.

  “You! You gave me that dream!” I accused.

  I did no such thing. I may be a pain in your head, but I wouldn’t influence your dreams. What do you take me for?

  “A as-“

  Language, Elijah. Watch your tongue. Keep talking like that and someone may just decide to cut it off. What would your mother think?

  “Leave my mother out of this!” I yelled. “She has nothing to do with this!”